Sunday, November 12, 2006
The beard theorem
The Beard Theorem is a political theorem that relates to the Communist Party and its members. The Beard Theorem is a theory that suggests that the size of one's Beard, whether it be a puff, French Fork or Mutton Chop, has a direct correlation to the radicality of a person's Socialist views. If one was to have a large, beard, that person has a higher chance of being a communist revolutionary than one other person who has only as moustache, or worse: no facial hair at all. This theorem is proved by many of the communist Russian revolutionaries of the 1900's, those like Karl Marx, who has a massive, beard and, in accordance to the theorem, is a great communist. V.I. Lenin, the leader of the Russian Revolution, had a beard, yet it was not as profound, thus he is not as truly communist as Marx or Engels, as he has a relatively small beard, but it is still present and is truth of his communisity. Josef Stalin, the leader of the Communist Vanguard Party in Russia from the mid 1920's to 1952, has no beard, yet has a moustache. Stalin, in accordance to the theorem thus has very little Communist Blood in him, as he is a Stalinist, and a social fascist. Exceptions to the rule is most East Asian Communist leaders.
Now Santa Claus... talk about a hypocrite. He believes in equal distribution of private property equally, but exploits the elvish working class in order to do so!
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I am curious if East Asia displays an inverse-Beard law (c.f. Confucius and Zedong.)
I also doubt Marx still has a beard or is anything.
Further, communism and socialism and NOt the same thing.
And beards do not a communist or socialist make. What about mountain men? Living alone in the wilderness and killing animals as sole source of money.... DOesn't get much more anti-social or capitalistic than that.
This entry needs to be heavily edited or abandoned.